Love People Where They Are

Love People Where They Are

I’ve told a story for years now and the other day I came across its centerpiece. This Aerosmith concert t-shirt from their 1990 Pump tour.

I was living in another state working as a day care provider during the day and a bartender at night saving for a trip to Europe. Three of us were living in a one bedroom apartment with a donated couch and mattresses on the floor. 

Ah to be young and carefree! 

Closing a bar at two in the morning was not glamorous.  We’d call the last call, cash people out, clean out the bar swill (all the spilt alcohol that mixes together to make a stinky brown concoction), wash dishes, mop the floor, and head home.  By the time I got home and had a chance wind down, it was four in the morning. Sometimes I just fell asleep like that. Sitting on the couch, second hand smoke in my hair, nasty swill smell on my clothes.....

Knock Knock Knock!

Ugh, who is knocking on my door on a Saturday morning? What time is it? Oh, 10 a.m. I guess most people would be up by now, but I’m only on my sixth hour of sleep.

Groggy with who knows what kind of bedhead, I answer the door to greet the nicest well-dressed religious door-to-door people you have ever seen. And I’m wearing this Aerosmith gory t-shirt. I’m sure I was a sight!!  They probably thought they had some easy pickings with what looked (and smelled) to them like some hung-over metal head who didn’t know God from.... well.... Adam....

“Hello, can we speak to you for a few minutes?”

Sure.

“We’d like to talk to you about Jesus.”

Yes, I know him well.

“Well did you know that......”

Yes, I did. And yes, I do read the Bible. And yes, I do have a personal relationship with him. And yes, I have asked him into my heart as my Savior. And yes, I do pray with him daily......

I don’t think they bought a word of it.  And I can’t really blame them.  In that interaction, how could they know my heart? How could they know my past?

I bought the shirt because the back had the words to my favorite song on it, Janie’s Gotta Gun, a song about a victim of sexual abuse who takes the situation into her own hands and shoots her abuser. It was dark and scary looking. Being a survivor of childhood sexual abuse by a friend’s father, the song meant a lot to me and the dark and scary look of the shirt represented how I felt about the situation. 

The shirt and other choices I was making reflected where I was at that time of my life, but that journey wasn’t without God. He was there with me. Holding my hand.  Loving me THROUGH the pain.  I was still a Christian.

How many times do we see other people and judge them because they don’t LOOK like we think they should? Instead they wear clothes are less conservative than ours, they drink more than we do, they just don’t follow the rules like we think they should?  Do we come at them with that judgement like, “I need to let that person know they are sinning!”  Or do we come along side them, love them, and leave the judging up to God?

I’ve grown since my twenties and it’s not because someone “fixed” me.  The growth I’ve done has come from the Holy Spirit convicting me and growing me. It’s come from inside me. It’s come from knowing God more and learning what pleases him.  

So, where do people fit into this equation?  It’s the ones that loved me where I was at that helped me move along this journey.  Ones that welcomed me in the door at church regardless of what I was wearing or how late I walked in. The sweet girl in my college Bible study that described me as “colorful” because I swore like a sailor even at church gatherings.

Love people where they are. If we judge them and get snotty about the little things, how are they ever going to know Christ and let him into their hearts in order for him to shape them into the diamond he intends them to be?

WHAT ARE THINGS YOU HAVE BEEN JUDGED FOR THAT AREN’T WHO YOU ARE NOW? WHAT DO YOU NEED TO LOOK PAST IN ORDER TO LOVE OTHER PEOPLE THAT COME INTO YOUR LIFE?

Rock the System!!!

When I do my "Rocks in a Jar" talk, I teach the audience how to make this work in their daily life.  The number one thing you MUST do is look at your rocks daily.  If not, you will slip back into your old habits of letting life happen to you and not living intentionally.  I know because I do it too!

I'm very visual and I wanted to make looking at my rocks easy for myself so I set up a board that has my rocks on it.  It's in my bedroom so when I wake-up my rocks are right there waiting for me.

The board on the bottom is my "Throw Up" board. I wake-up with thoughts popping in my head like popcorn. "I've got to make the Dr. appointment, oh pay the water bill, I've got a great blog idea, ask hubby when he's coming home from his trip, need to take the receipts in to church....."  If I don't get these thoughts out and into word form they will either get lost or get stuck and I have the same thoughts over and over again.

I do not do all seven rocks every day (I teach that in my talk too. Start with one or two goals and get good at those before adding more).  So each day, I decide which rocks I will be working on and move them to the "Today" column.  I chose a white board because I wanted to be able to write the specific thing I needed to do for that rock under the rock's label:

As I complete a goal, I move the rock label to the "Done" section.  Whatever gets done gets mark off on my progress chart.

I guess it's like a chore chart for grown-ups.  As with all great tools, it's only as good as how you use it. I'll give a progress report in a couple of weeks.

How about you? DO YOU HAVE A WAY OF FOCUSING ON YOUR GOALS EACH DAY? DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT MAKING AND KEEPING GOALS?

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My Quarter Year Crisis-Getting Back on Track

One quarter of 2013 is over.  I think March was my Quarter Year Crisis month.  I didn’t balance my checkbook once. Not only did I not balance it, I didn’t input my purchases.  I haven’t behaved that way in five or six years.  Usually updating the checkbook and making sure everything balances is my way of feeling in control and that all is right, at least in my little world.

My eating was out of control (darn my favorite cupcake place opening in my town!!!) and  cleaning was sporadic.  I think I was throwing a grown-up temper tantrum.  Tired of being the responsible one. Tired of being the one who takes care of all of the finances, cleaning, calendar, communication, kids activities, social obligations, etc.

Luckily I still held on to some 2013 habits. I’m caught up on my Bible reading and here I am doing my own writing even though I contemplated posting other people’s blogs while the kids are out of school for two weeks.

So it’s a new month, and new quarter, a new start.

What are my goals for April:

• Keep up with Bible reading
• Keep up with writing
• Exercise 3x a week
• Make April’s budget and keep up with checkbook
• Date Night
• Clean out house for friend’s garage sale for Kenya Mission Trip (I am never motivated to clean unless there’s a good reason!)

What do I need to do to get back on track:

• LOOK at my goals daily
• Hang my progress chart so I can fill in the boxes daily (remember that low tech chart paper I used to track my progress for January? I took it down for a talk and never put one back up. Bad news!)
• Share my goals with my accountability partner
• Scrap the month of March in the checkbook and just start over for April.
• Use the cash envelope system (sure cuts down on inputting all those food transactions!)

ARE YOU AT A POINT WHERE YOU NEED TO GET BACK ON TRACK? WHAT DO YOU NEED TO MEET YOUR GOALS THIS MONTH? 

Feel free to post in the comment section below. It’s amazing what putting your goals down into writing can do to help you stay on track.