My daughter is now able to play one of my all-time favorite games, UNO. This is so much more fun for me than playing Candy Land or Shoots and Ladders. There is skill involved. Thinking involved. Strategy. Sure, it’s not chess but and least it’s not mind numbing like the little kid games.
I have always had the belief that I will never “let” my kids win at games. I will play against them and teach them along the way. It’s good for them to lose. They need to know how to be good losers and when they are good enough to earn the win for themselves, they will also know how to be good winners.
Lessons they have learned:
- You never know what can happen, it ain’t over til it’s over
- You finish what you start
- You shake hands when it’s over and say, “Good game.”
- You don’t pout when you lose, you don’t gloat when you win
- You get better by playing over and over
- It feels good when you win because you earned it
Tonight I had a chance to let Keira win. She had come close so many times and I was proud of her for continuing to play. I could see she was having fun and she knew she was getting better. She was down to one card and I had two. I could have played one card that would allow her to win, but I knew it would be cheating her of actually earning it. After I played my two cards for the win, I told her the truth. My secret I’ve been keeping through Candy Land, Shoots and Ladders, Tic Tac Toe, and now UNO, that when she wins she will truly have won by her own doing not because I “let” her.
That’s all fine and dandy when it’s someone else’s loss we are talking about, but what if it’s your own loss or the loss of your favorite team?
This is not easy for me to write. I like to win! I’m competitive and I love sports. I’m also a huge San Francisco 49er fan so you can guess that I’m not feeling all warm and fuzzy after Sunday’s loss in the Super Bowl. We’ve never gone to the Super Bowl and lost before, but I had a feeling going into this game that we were about to break our undefeated record.
This team was not the superstar Montana/Rice or Young/Rice team of the past. The quarterback, Kaepernick, is very young and does not have a lot of game experience under his belt. We have a whole different coaching style from past coaches and although he has brought together a winning team, I don’t always enjoy his tactics.
A lot of fans will whine about the refs not calling the penalties against Baltimore like they should have, but that’s not what lost us the game. Lack of experience and complete unfocused arrogance were glaring factors that caused me to be embarrassed more than mistakes made on anyone specific player's part. So, I’m kind of glad they lost.
Before the game on Sunday, there was an interview with a 49er named Vernon Davis. He stands out in my mind because back in 2008 when Mike Singletary was named the 9ers head coach, Davis was a prima donna and Singletary sent him to the locker room in the middle of a game. “I'd rather play with 10 people and just get penalized all the way until we have to do something else rather than play with 11 when I know that right now that person is not sold out to be a part of this team.” This is so unusual in an era of player entitlement. We as a society are afraid to call people out for their entitlement and self-centeredness. Especially when a team is winning which is why I’m glad the 9ers lost on Sunday.
In the interview with Davis, they of course brought up the Singletary exchange making Davis watch a replay of it. Over four years have passed and when they asked Davis what he would say to Singletary now, you know what his answer was? “Thank you.” He credits Singletary for saving his career and helping to change him to be a better leader.
What would have happened if no one stood up to Davis?
My hope for the losing team is for them to be humbled, to dig deep and see where they need to improve, to come back stronger. I bet that the team we see come back next season will be a better team for losing than if they had won with their comeback in the 4th quarter.
Losing or failing does not have to be the end. It’s the beginning to become better.
Have you faced adversity that caused you to grow stronger? Are there tough lessons that you have had to learn that made you a better person in the long run? What challenges do you face today and how can you face them with a stronger spirit?
Well.. I can't say I completely agree with you.. I agree with your reasons for them losing and what we will hopefully see next year.. but I still do blame the ref in that last missed call. I don't know if they would have won.. had he called it, the down would be repeated and they may have blown it again. Still.. it should have been called. The niners had a LOT more calls on them in the game most were fair/good calls, a couple were bad. The ravens had almost nothing called and from the cameras a few were missed calls, including that last one that probably cost them the win.
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