Don't Make Rocks Out of Pebbles

We've talked about how our rocks are the highest priorities in our lives, the things we could not live without: Faith, Health, Family, etc.  And most of us understand that the sand is the time-sucking stuff that if we fill our jar with it first, we won't have enough room to fit all of our rocks in. These would be things like T.V., video games, social networking, etc.

But what about the pebbles? They are things that in and of themselves are positive but too much of them can prevent the rocks from fitting in the jar.

Since my rocks are not your rocks and your rocks are not my rocks, remember the following are examples but hopefully this discussion can help you think through the big things vs. little things.

My kids are one of my rocks. My goal this year is to spend more focused time with them. I want to build a trust and bond with them now so that when things get harder as they grow-up, we have a relationship that is strong and I can be there for them. This means playing with them and talking with them. We play board games and make puzzles together allowing for eye-to-eye contact and lots of conversation.  I take each child out, just the two of us, to get a treat and hang out.

So while my kids are one of my rocks, there are a lot of things that don't necessarily support my goal for spending focused time together but might be good for my kids.  Sports, enrichment classes, and volunteering in their classrooms are all good things, but not the most important things. These are pebbles.  I believe our culture has created this illusion that the above things are necessary in order for our children to be "normal" but I don't agree.  I'm even required to volunteer 70 hours a year at the kids'  school, but I still don't see it as a rock.

I talk about having a "self-fulfillment" rock. This is having something that feeds your soul and makes you a better person for having participated in it.  For some it's Yoga.  For someone else it's feeding the homeless.  For me it's performing in theater. This can easily get out of control with a lot of pebbles. "Well I need to take care of myself in order to be a good mom and wife so the manicures, pedicures, Bunco games, shopping, girl's night out...... all fall under one rock." Nope, that's a lot of pebbles and are fine if you keep them as pebbles and they don't get in the way of your big rock.

Faith is another rock.  We attend church, we belong to a small group Bible study, and we each serve in a ministry as a way to help give back to the church. And although God is our biggest rock, there are soooo many pebbles that could add up to too much very quickly.  There are always activities to participate in, women's conferences, men's conferences, marriage conferences, ministries that need extra help, prayer meetings, worship events, soup kitchen nights, etc.  You can't justify doing everything and saying, "Well God is my most important rock." Even God doesn't want you to be so BUSY doing things that you don't have time to sit and BE with Him.

Hopefully that helps you to identify big rocks vs. pebbles.  Remember, your jar only has so much space in it.  The big things must go in first.

My last post showed a picture of my broken jar and I received the coolest comment from a friend:

Keep using glass for your jars. Perhaps the broken glass represents the fragility of a family's framework.

That is so true. Let's be careful about choosing our rocks and our pebbles. Leave some spaces in there to relieve the pressure that could be putting too much stress on your family.

What are some pebbles that you have been calling rocks? Anything you can think of that maybe needs to be taken out of the jar for now?