Fear is Like Botox

Continuing on the New Year’s theme, did you watch the ball drop this year? We were at a friend’s house and the Dick Clark New Year’s Rockin Eve was on. One of the hosts was Jenny McCarthy.  I’ve always liked her.  She’s funny, she’s beautiful, and she is not afraid to be herself. So imagine how disappointed I was to see that she’s “had work done” on her face. (yes, I’m well aware of the non-facial work she’s had done but that’s a whole other topic) 

I felt badly for her. It’s hard to be funny when your face can’t fully express your emotions. I think Botox doesn’t make you look younger, it makes you look like an older person TRYING to look younger but now just weirdly different from your real self. And finally, it kinda goes against “not being afraid to be yourself.” Also, my ego took a blow when I had to face the fact that she’s getting work done AND SHE’S YOUNGER THAN ME!! I swear I’m going to have to write a blogpost solely on the 101 things that are making me feel old.

So what does this have to do with fear? Well, the job of Botox is to paralyze the muscles that cause the wrinkles. They are frozen in place. Fear paralyzes us and keeps us from moving.  We can’t reach our goals if we aren’t moving.  Can moving cause us to show our flaws? Sure. Are we taking the risk of falling flat on our face? Yes. But do we want to stand frozen in time not able to fully express our emotions looking weirdly different from our real selves, not truly being who we were created to be? NO!!!

Having my 2013 goals has brought up a lot of fear in me. I like this definition:

verb [ with obj. ]

1 keep away from or stop oneself from doing (something)

• not go to or through 

• prevent from happening

Fear causes you to doubt yourself. It keeps you from trying new things.  It encourages you to give-up when you are not succeeding at something yet. You may be so good at avoiding fear that you don’t realize that you have it in the first place. It shows up in insecurity, over-thinking things, playing the what-if game, making yourself too busy with other things, blaming your circumstances or other people in your life for not being able to do something.

Once I recognized that fear was creeping up on me and my goals, I tried something I was afraid to do yet it’s what I do best: I SAID IT OUT LOUD. I started to tell people.

You know that big giant boogie man that you thought was under the bed? That is fear. Remember what happens to him when you turn on the light? He disappears.

Saying your goals out loud shines the light on the fear and helps you to see that it’s not as scary as you think.  The light helps you examine it in truth.

One of my goals is to attend a public speakers conference that will be in Georgia. I will have to pay for travel, food, lodging, and the conference itself.  It is A LOT of money especially for someone who normally gets paid for speaking in the form of Starbucks gift cards.  I’m not bringing in the money that justifies that amount of money. But I know that if I want to take my business to the next level, I need to learn the tools it will take to get there. I realized that I had fear because of the “what-if’s.”  What if  I don’t get things going enough to recover the cost? Also, when I do this conference it means I’m going to have to stick  my neck out there and face rejection.  

So, I started to tell people about my goal and my fear. Once I started to say these things out loud. Even without the listener saying anything, I realized how silly I sounded.

Fear keeps us from so much.

• What if I trust this person and he leaves? 
• What if I try this new thing and I make a fool of myself? 
• What if I audition for this show and I don't get in?

Don’t even get me started on the fear of success. 

• What if I DO lose the weight and it makes my husband insecure? 
• What if I DO get the promotion and my boss expects more of me?
• What if I DO quit my job and stay at home and my friends judge me?

Don’t let fear stop you from your goals in 2013. Say them out loud to someone!

I overheard my chiropractor ask someone what their goal for 2013 was and it was the most painful few minutes getting her to say out loud what she wanted.  When she finally was able to say that she wants to lose 30 pounds because she wants to feel good about how she looks, he said, “You know all that hemming and hawing you were doing? That was all those other people’s voices in your head causing you to doubt yourself. Forget about them!”

O.K. friends. Exorcise your fear!!! Get it out!  If you don’t have someone safe in your life to say your fears to, say them here.