Let's Celebrate Our 2013 Successes!!!!

Good-bye 2013

This is the first year of living "My Rocks In A Jar-Arranging My Life to Reflect My Priorities".  I have to say having this way of thinking has been so helpful.  It kept my goals in front of me unlike resolutions that get made, attempted, and then thrown away by mid-May.  Did I achieve all of my goals? No, but I did much more than I’ve done in any other year. I learned a lot along the way and I’m ready to take on 2014 with more wisdom than I had in 2013.

SO, WHAT WERE YOUR GOALS FOR 2013 AND HOW DID YOU DO?

Here were mine:

God-get closer to God (daily reading and journaling)

Health-eat for health and energy 

neck exercises to prevent migraines

Family-build a stronger marriage (date nights, read books)

save for family camp

have a clean home

Kids-spend focused time with each child

teach them to be more independent

Financial-save up fully funded emergency fund of 3-6 months of expenses

Career-attend Launch conference

take Apple One-on-One classes for new computer

write more

Personal fulfillment- Audition for Unbeatable

God-On the one hand, I did not read through the Bible in a year as I had planned BUT I read MORE than I ever have.  Once I lost my accountability partner, things went way down hill.  I was reading but not having someone to discuss the reading with made the words just words.  I found myself reading just to get it done and not really getting closer to God because of it.  I did make it more than half way through so my new goal for 2014 will be to read through the New Testament and I’ve already lined up TWO people to join me. The new program is OwnIt365NT+

Health-ehhhh I took a detour half way through the year dealing with my depression which was quite a journey that lasted almost six months, included being exhausted ALL the time, having insomnia, and gaining 10 plus pounds.  Finally in December we got things dialed in and now I’m ready to work on eating better and exercising. The migraines DID improve a bit. I think I only had to take Imitrex three or four times this year.  I haven’t had a refill in over a year.

Family-We’ve had more date nights, celebrated 15 years of marriage with a weekend away to Capitola, and have worked hard to improve communication.  I think marriage is a day-to-day choice to see love as a verb not just an emotion so it will be something I need to work on every day until “death do us part.”  I have to give my husband HUGE credit for working hard to be the husband I need.  He is definitely the better half of this marriage.

We also saved and attended family camp.  An investment worth every penny.  All family members kept saying, “When we come back next year..... when we come back next year....”  It’s always wonderful when you do something good for your family and they love it!

Clean home? fuhget about it!! Saved that one for 2014

Kids-Wow, I’ve never been happier as a mom.  I’ve made good memories with each child looking at what interests them and spending intentional time with both of them individually.  (and as I’ve done my talks this year, I have met sooooo many women who thank me for admitting that it’s hard for me to just sit on the floor and play with my kids.)  I sometimes describe being a Stay-At-Home-Mom as “mind numbing.” (Not popular to say but secretly many women agree with me.)  As the kids have gotten older, we can do more cerebral activities and have better conversations.  So, for those of you in the younger years, know that it DOES get better.  They are also learning to do more for themselves and we will continue with these goals into the next year.

Financial-Sometimes things go above and beyond what you set out to do.  Not only did we save our emergency fund, we saved a little bit more and were able to buy a home after living in a two bedroom apartment for 3.5 years.  I count my blessings each day.  We’re going to have to tighten up our spending habits now that we have a mortgage but it will be easier to do seeing how well our hard work for the past five years have paid off.  We’ve come a long way.  To learn how we've done this, see www.DaveRamsey.com

Career-I attended the Launch conference which was wonderful and I certainly did more writing.  I have a new website and I continue to do speaking gigs.  I even recorded my last talk and will work on having it edited to be able to share with others.  For some reason, this area creates the biggest fear in me (fear of failure? fear of success? I don’t know) so it will have to be the Rock I’m most intentional about in the coming year.  Remember my new website is www.LunaLeverett.com This will be my last blog post at this site.

Personal Fulfillment- Holy Moly people!! I started off the year barely able to stand up and sing in front of one of my best friends for an audition, spent August singing solo in front of sold out audiences, and ended the year doing an audition I am quite proud of if I do say so myself.  My advice: if you want to get good (or just confident or better) at something, pay a professional to teach you!

Being a perfectionist, it’s hard to look at my goals and not pick apart all that I DIDN’T accomplish but I know better than to do that.  There is soooo much here to celebrate!

WHAT CAN YOU CELEBRATE IN 2013?

Thank you all for following me on this journey of 2013.  I hope I've inspired you to be your better self, to be real, and to keep going even when you make mistakes.  Please help me out by "sharing" my links via Facebook, Twitter, etc.  which means you don't just "like" me you'd like others in your life to read what you are reading here.  "Sharing is caring!"  Can't wait to spend 2014 with you!

Much Love,

Luna

8 Ways to Reduce Stress with 8 Day of Christmas Left!

Christmas Reality Check

Maybe you are one of those people who love everything Christmas and wake up each day excited to do whatever is on your Advent-like holiday To-Do list. Day 4-bake cookies..... Day 5-address Christmas Cards..... Day 6-Stamp and mail cards..... Day 7-Cookie Exchange.....  Day 8-Wrap gifts.... Day 9-Sing carols in convalescent homes.....

If so, this post is NOT for you.

For the rest of the world who starts off with the best of intentions but finds themselves on Dec 17 buried under the guilt of what you WANTED to do but HAVEN’T done yet, I’m here to set you free!!!

Ask yourself, “What is the most important thing about Christmas?”

For some it’s family, others it’s giving, or it’s about the birth of a savior. Then as you look at all you have on your To-do list, what supports your mission for Christmas and what is just extra? Take off anything extra and don't look back!

We try to cram so much into this month and it’s very unreasonable.  You can’t do it all.  I’ve seen women who LOOK like they can but usually there is some crack in the facade even if we can’t see it. Does getting everything on your to-do list done leave you too tired or stressed out to spend time just BEING with your family?  What will your children remember about this time of year?  A mom doing less but at peace with what’s going on or a stressed out mom trying to make everything just right?

So, with 8 days left until the big day here are 8 ideas to take away stress:

1. Christmas cards are NOT a requirement (or you can send them after the New Year when people will actually have the time to read them)
2. Cookies (candy, breads, etc.) do NOT have to be made-there’s enough sugar around right now, who needs more?
3. Cancel going to a party or three!-they WILL go on without you
4. Can’t find the “perfect” gift?-get gift cards instead (you don’t have to go to the actual store, get them from the grocery store kiosk)
5. Things don’t have to be homemade (yes, that means YOU, YOU know who you are!) Let it go!
6. Don’t compare yourself to Pinterest!!!
7. Say yes to help. Switch babysitting with a friend so you can each have time alone to get things done, get gift wrap done at the store, pay extra for assembly.
8. But mostly remember there is no such thing as a “Perfect” Christmas.  When your expectations are unrealistic, you will get stressed out!  Give yourself permission to be imperfect! 

What will you do to let go of stress this Christmas?

Remember to visit my new site at www.LunaLeverett.com

Back to School, Back to Rocks

I LOVE this time of year! Even as a kid, I LOVED back to school time.  I have an obsession with school supplies.  I remember when I was going into fourth grade I bought a blue mechanical pencil, replacement lead, and different color eraser tops not just for myself but as a gift for my best friend.  I loved buying new clothes, new shoes, new binders....

I think what I like most about it is the fresh new start.  Think about it.  It's a cleaner slate than New Years.  We don't start off the new year with a new wardrobe, new supplies, a clean work record.  With the beginning of the school year, you can start new habits that will carry you through the rest of the school year.

So with 2013 being the year of My Rocks in a Jar, this is the perfect time for a pick-me-up with goal setting.  ARE THERE GOALS YOU STILL NEED TO WORK ON FOR THIS YEAR? Let's start right now to revaluate how we are doing and make adjustments as necessary.

Here is what I said I wanted to accomplish this year:

God-get closer to God (daily reading and journaling)

Health-eat for health and energy 

neck exercises to prevent migraines

Family-build a stronger marriage (date nights, read books)

save for family camp done and continuing
have a clean home

Kids-spend focused time with each child done and continuing

teach them to be more independent done and continuing

Financial-save up fully funded emergency fund of 3-6 months of expenses DONE!

Career-attend Launch conference (Sept)

take Apple One-on-One classes for new computer

write more done and continuing

Personal fulfillment- Audition for Unbeatable (changed to The Wiz) DONE!

What I need to work on:
Get caught up on Bible reading
Make a plan for health
Make a clean home my project for 2014
Sign up for Apple classes

Just crossing things off that I've had success with helps me feel better and have more focus. WHAT CAN YOU CROSS OFF OF YOU LIST FOR THIS YEAR?

For the Bible reading, I've implemented something I heard from a podcast. It's a strategy used by people with ADHD that uses a timer to have a block of 25 minutes of fully focused work with a 5 minute break.  I was so surprised to see how much reading I got done during that focused time, more than if I just sat down to "read until I'm caught up."  What I have to do now is implement daily until I'm caught up.

The plan for health includes yoga classes that I'm going to start tomorrow and focusing on eating more fruits, vegetables, and lean meats while cutting back on treats.  I'd love to lose those "last 10 pounds" by Thanksgiving (less than a pound a week) and then maintain the weight through the holidays.

Signing up for the Apple classes will take only a matter of a few minutes.

So there you go.  My goals for the rest of the year.  Planning on finishing 2013 strong!  It's really awesome to see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that I'm still keeping on with what I set out to do at the beginning of the year even with the starts, stops, and do-overs.

Next I'm going to look at accountability and share strategies to use when your accountability person has lost their way as well!

Share in the comments what you want to accomplish by the end of 2013.

As always, if you are finding this blog helpful, please share by using the buttons below.  The more you "share" through your own Facebook accounts, Twitter feeds, etc., the more people have access to this page.  Thank you all for making the Slay Your Own Dragons post the highest hit blogpost of mine to date!

Checking-In: The Good, The Bad, and The Reality

"Whether or not you see the glass as half full or half empty, don't let it change the fact that the glass is half empty."-Drew Bruno

Bwaaa Haaaa!!!  That's a quote from my best friend who totally gets my sense of humor.

So I left off in June with my goals for the half way point of 2013. I kept my goals in the back of my mind as the summer whipped by at warp speed.  As I was going along trying to keep the kids in a healthy balance of busy and bored, do you think I was focused on the things I was accomplishing with my goals or on the things I WASN'T getting done?

I don't think I'm alone in focusing on the bad or what I'm not accomplishing.  For this summer, it was my Bible reading.  It is my goal to read through the Bible in a year and I have been following a great reading plan from A Radical Journey. Getting my reading done isn't like trying to read a novel by the pool or a magazine article in the doctor's waiting room.  I need a chunk of uninterrupted time with peace and quiet.  That doesn't happen with two kids with me all day long.  Could I have made it a higher priority and made it happen? Yes.  Was I working on balancing my life while starting a new medication that makes me simultaneously an insomniac and a completely exhausted person? Yes.  So, that rock slipped and I felt badly about it especially since it's supposed to be my number one priority.

Towards the end of the summer as I was letting the guilt of not keeping up on my reading get to me.  What will I have to say for myself when it's time to blog again? What kind of example am I? But then, I started to take inventory of the rest of my goals:

From the Post Finish the First Half Strong

ROCK CHECK by the end of June:

God-I'll be half way through the Bible reading plan at Bible: 365

Family-We will be back from our week of Family Camp!

The husband and I have had more dates this year than the last few combined

Self-fulfillment-I'll be heading into rehearsals for The Wiz, prepared because I've been taking voice lessons

Kids-One-on-one time with each kid is carefully scheduled during the summer

Career-Public Speaking Conference is booked for September

Financial-Emergency fund will be complete

And you know what? I had accomplished EVERY OTHER GOAL I set for the half way point and then some!!!

Why do we focus on the negative? Who cares why?!?! Let's just stop!

So, for now I'm working on catching up on my reading.  In the past, I may have felt too overwhelmed to move forward but not now.  I look at all that I HAVE accomplished this year and I'm encouraged to keep going.

How about you? What have you done so far in 2013 that you need to stop and acknowledge?

Are you seeing the glass half full or half empty?

Next I'll be sharing what my focus will be for finishing 2013 strong!

Slay Your Own Dragons

I love fairy tales. I love feeling like a princess.  I love the idea of danger or a battle.  I love seeing people overcoming obstacles and learning to believe in themselves.

One of my favorite scenes in any Disney movie is when Prince Phillip takes on Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty.  She grows larger than life, thorns and brambles grow all around, Prince Phillip only has his shield and sword to take her on.  It looks impossible.  If he gravitated towards the "flight" response in the Fight or Flight reflex, he would have taken off and hid.  Instead he faced her straight on and even though victory seemed impossible, he won.

It would be nice to have someone slay our dragons for us while we sleep but sometimes, no one can fight our battle for us. Sometimes, we have to slay our own dragons.

Usually these dragons are in our own head.  Past experiences that left us feeling self-doubt, things someone said that we have chosen to believe, regret for things we've done or opportunities we didn't take.  No one can go into our heads and fight these thoughts for us.  They try by telling us words that should be helpful, but until we change our own thinking, we can't believe the good things other people have to say.

I posted before about auditioning for musicals.  It's been such a stretching experience.  I said I rather have a Brazilian wax or stand naked in front of a crowd than sing in front of one.  Here’s where my fear came from:

When I was in high school, I was known as a dancer.  I had never had lessons but took to it naturally (all those hours of imitating the latest episode of Fame in my garage paid off I guess.)  But what I've always loved to do was sing.  No one in my family ever said I was good at it, but I did get encouragement from a few people who heard me sing during auditions at school.

My last year of high school, I decided to audition for a talent show with a couple of other girls but instead of dancing as I had in the past, I would be singing.  I got an, "Oh you've GOT to be kidding!" from someone very close to me.  That hurt. A lot.

I moved forward with the auditions anyway with the other girls. One was the daughter of a voice teacher and one was a student of the voice teacher.  I had never had a lesson in my life.  They decided I should sing the Alto part (I had always been a 2nd Soprano) and that the Alto was the harmony, not the melody. It was a disaster!!!!  I could not hear the notes in my own head to be able to sing them alone while the other two were singing the melody. 

A couple of days before the show, another friend pulled me aside and told me that the girls had decided to get someone else to sing my part and that they just wanted me to lip-synch. Wow, I must really stink at this. It scarred me for life.

I'm not a good singer.

I don't have a good voice.

Welcome to my dragon.

But something deep down inside of me knew this wasn't right.

I remember going into my bathroom and looking into the mirror above the sink and vowing, "Some day I'm going to take voice lessons. Some day I'm going to prove these people wrong!"

There have been a couple of times I've felt comfortable enough to sing in front of  others if the situation was safe enough, like with my sorority sisters, and I was encouraged by them. But then there were other times I tried and things did not go well.  I went to audition for a show in college and could not for the life of me start at the right time or on the right note.  I got the, "That's OK, thanks" from the director and did not even make the ensemble cast.

This year, I started voice lessons.  I auditioned for a couple of shows.  Got called back for a second audition for the first time ever. Then, got a solo part.  You’d think that once you have a part, you’d feel more confident but I didn’t.  My voice teacher and I worked every week getting the song down.  The notes got changed and words got rearranged  even as late as the day after opening so I could have easily freaked out, but I worked through it.

People were sweet and encouraging the whole time, but it’s funny because deep down, I knew when they were just trying to be nice verses telling the truth.  I admire truth above niceness any day.  So when I finally got my best theater friend to give me feedback, I was relieved to hear, "You have come so far. You've got the beginning of that song down. But I'm not going to lie and say you don't need to keep working on the rest of it." Thank you!!

By the time my parents came to see the show on the second night, I was feeling confident enough to know that I wasn’t going to blow it.  That I could get through the song without my voice cracking.  After the song was done and I went back stage, I not only knew I got through it, I knew I had done really well.  Hugs and high-fives were given back stage and it felt very good.

Each performance got better and better.  It was funny to see the people who had given me praise early on change what they said to me.  “Wow!! You did great last week but what a big difference between then and now!”  Because I knew those words to be true, I could let them sink in.

I slayed my own dragon last week.  One that had lived in me for twenty-five years.  I sought the help and got the tools needed to do it well.  Most of all, I dug deep and listened to my own voice that knew I could do it. I was scared, but I faced it.

What dragons do you still have living in you?  What tools do you need to overcome them?  Even just posting your thoughts in the comments below can empower you to start your journey. Let’s fight together.

Finish the first half strong!!!

It's June!

JUNE people!!!

And you know what? I'm not complaining.

January through May hold a lot of bad memories for me and few fun events so I just get through them.  Once the first half of the year is over, the fun begins.  Celebrating 4th of July at my sister's house, fun trips with the kids, Back to School shopping, Apple Month, Pumpkin Month, Turkey Month, and Christmas!!!! 

For me, the first half of the year is like that steep climb at the start of a roller coaster.  It's laborious being pulled up the track by the chain jerking rhythmically up up up. Thump, thump, thump. It's what you have to get through to get to the fun part of the ride.

There's one month left of the first half of 2013 and I plan on crossing the half-way point with grace and strength.  How are the 2013 goals going?

ROCK CHECK by the end of June:

God-I'll be half way through the Bible reading plan at Bible: 365

Family-We will be back from our week of Family Camp!

The husband and I have had more dates this year than the last few combined

Self-fulfillment-I'll be heading into rehearsals for The Wiz, prepared because I've been taking voice lessons

Kids-One-on-one time with each kid is carefully scheduled during the summer

Career-Public Speaking Conference is booked for September

Financial-Emergency fund will be complete

Still working on:

Health-will I ever want fruits and veggies over junk? Exercise because I LIKE it?

Writing-I'm going to be realistic. The kids are going to be out of school soon. Writing will continue to slow down.  Maybe I should schedule some computer classes in the evening to ensure some "me time."

Family-Clean Home, maybe not ever on this side of heaven.  We all have a thorn in our side and I think this is mine.

I hope you know the journey to complete my goals this year has not been a smooth/clean process. It's often two steps forward and one step back.  I hesitate to share all the set backs because I want to somehow still have credibility with my audience.  Who wants to hear advice about time management from someone who struggles with it on a daily basis? Yet I don't want to come across as if I’m saying, "If you just decide to change, you can change."

I have to constantly refocus my priorities and my time to reflect my priorities.  While I work on certain aspects of my goals, other things get put on hold.  I'm never perfectly juggling all seven rocks at one time. But, and here is the lesson, I never give up and you shouldn't either.

WHAT GOALS DID YOU HAVE AT THE BEGINNING OF 2013? HOW ARE YOU DOING WITH THEM? DO YOU NEED TO ADJUST SOME? DO YOU HAVE A PLAN?

For example, I've had friends say they'd like to do the read the the Bible in a year thing but they could never catch up.  So I invite them to start where we are now. It's not like the Bible is in chronological order any way. Start with us in Psalms and move forward going back to Genesis at the beginning of 2014.  I wanted to start voice lessons before auditions but only had one session under my belt when auditions came.  I'm glad I started anyway because now I'll have over two months of lessons under my belt when we start rehearsals.  My writing has slowed down and there are days I wonder if I'm cut out for blogging or if anyone is even reading these, but even if I publish one post a week, it's better than quitting. Remember, it's always the right time to be your best, so get started or restarted!

Today, I had the privilege of sitting with my friend who set "taking care of herself"as her goal for 2013 as she celebrated losing 30 pounds.  I'm so proud of her.  She's been working on this all year and it was a perfect way to pause and look back at how far she has come.  Most importantly, she hasn't given up.  Good weeks, bad weeks, she kept her focus on taking care of herself.

There have been times when I've been so far behind on  my reading, I've thought about just giving up. There are times I get so frustrated with goals I've set that I think maybe they weren't realistic.  Some times I forget why I'm working towards the goals, thinking that if someone else isn't noticing then it's not worth it.  When my feedback about my writing is focused on my grammatical errors, I want to stop writing and hide in my shell.

But when I go back and look at my goals, they are so deeply a part of me that all of the outside nonsense fades away and I find within myself the desire to keep moving forward.

WHAT ABOUT YOU? WHAT IS GOING TO KEEP YOU GOING THROUGH THIS HALF WAY POINT? SHARE WITH US THE PROGRESS YOU HAVE MADE SO FAR.

With six months to live, what would you do?

So, what if you only had six months to live? 

It’s amazing how we change the way we see things when that question is asked.  We’d spend more time with family, we’d take care of the business we haven’t made a priority. And yet once all is said and done, we go about our lives as if we will live to 97 and die because by then, that’s what we’re supposed to do.

Yesterday, a video went around on Facebook about a seventeen year old named Zach Sobiech who was diagnosed with cancer and how he lived the remainder of his life.  He died yesterday and my friend picked out this quote as his favorite, "I want to be known as the kid who went down fighting, but didn't really lose." - Zach Sobiech

You can watch the video here: Zach Sobiech

My husband and I had just been having the conversation of how I would live my life if I only had six months to live.  Seriously, like 15 minutes before I saw this video on my friend’s update.

I laughed and said there’d be a lot of traveling.  See, that’s not realistic in every-day-I’m-gonna-live-until-97 life.

I’d:

• go to Yosemite
• go to Capitola
• go to Disneyland
• but most importantly, I’d go to Africa and love on people by helping families devastated by HIV/AIDS and war. I can address the “why Africa” question in another post but for now, I’ll just say I have felt God place Africa on my heart since my late twenties.

For 15 years, Africa has been put on my “someday” list but if that six months deadline was in front of me, I’d be going.

See, that’s a lot of the six months time already booked with traveling.  If I did that in “real life” that would cost a lot of money and be frivolous.  So where is the balance?

It wouldn’t make sense for us to quit our jobs and spend all of our savings to do the things we’d do if we lived as if time was limited and resources were not.

Where is the balance? 

But to continue the list, I’d:

• Sing a solo in a musical
• have that last heart-to-heart with my family and friends trying to convince them of Jesus’s love for them
• write letters to my kids for occasions in their lives I want to be there for like graduations, wedding days, first heartbreaks
• let people in my life know how much they mean to me and how they have made me who I am
• make memories with my children and just love on them
• NOT feel guilty about the house being a mess or dinners out instead of cooked at home
• People, I would EAT whatever I wanted!!!

What about you?

would you reach out to someone who you have hurt or has hurt you?

visit that lost love that you’ve been trying to push to the back of your mind?

open your heart to someone you’ve been holding back from and tell them how much you love them?

write that book you’ve wanted to write but were too afraid to try?

Some things don’t work in the everyday life thing.  I can’t eat whatever I want. I’d be uncomfortable and unhealthy and since I DON’T know when or how I will go, I need to take care of myself.

But some things do work and it shouldn’t have to take pulling the, “I’ve got a brain tumor” card to make things happen.

Where is the balance?

How about picking one or two things on your list and working on them?

I’m happy to say that I have a solo in an upcoming musical and I’m gonna enjoy the heck out of the process. I’m working my darndest to get my special people in my life together so I can show them my appreciation and if it can’t happen with all of them together at one time, they’re just going to have to settle for my appreciation on a individual daily level.  I can write letters for my children that they can open on those special occasion days.

I’m happy to say that by doing the “My Rocks in a Jar” goals for this year, if I did find out that I only had six months to live, I have quite a few important things already on the calendar that I would keep.  Doing the musical which includes time with some of my very special people, family camp in the redwoods with my husband and children which happens to not be far from Capitola, we have an annual pass to National Parks which means Yosemite is a definite possibility even for just a day.  I spend time with my friends each week and try to let them know how much they mean to me.  The husband and I plan more dates now.

And what about once you are gone? What do you need to do to make sure you are loving people in how you leave things? 

Don’t forget to get your life insurance taken care of and put your will in order. Make time for the important conversations or live out your love with what you do in your life.  When you are gone, how do you want to be remembered? 

Go out today and live that life.  Because the reality is, there is a date out there that has your name on it.  We just don’t know which date it is.

WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO DO BEFORE YOU GO? WHAT CAN YOU DO TODAY TO GET THAT GOING?

It's ALWAYS the right time to be your best!

I was asked to think of something happening in my life in July to serve as my “anchor” for my weight loss goals.  Why July? I don’t know. I guess because it’s far enough away to realistically make some good progress yet close enough to feel some urgency?

Funny thing is that it seems like there’s always something that makes me think, “Oh, if only I were 10-15 pounds lighter.”  Cute spring dresses, sexy Halloween costumes, dresses for the husband’s work Christmas party.  I’ve been WAITING for years for the 80’s trend to come back into fashion and here they are except I’m not at my 80’s weight.  I find myself thinking, “If only I had started taking care of myself six months ago.... “

I finally realized that it’s ALWAYS a good time to be your best.  There’s always going to be a reason that I wish I started taking care of myself six months ago instead of waiting until now.

It doesn’t just apply to weight loss.

I’ve talked about enjoying being in musicals.  It feeds my soul.  Each time auditions come up I panic about having to sing.  When I was a Senior in high school, I had a really bad experience with singing in front of people that completely changed the way I saw myself.  I made a promise that some day I’d take voice lessons and make things better.  I finally took my first lesson last week.  Auditions are tonight and you bet I’m wishing I had started lessons six months ago.  

Oh well, I guess I’m getting ready for whatever auditions are in six months!

It’s ALWAYS the right time to be your best.  Your six months ago starts TODAY.

IN WHAT AREA OF YOUR LIFE DO YOU WANT TO BE BETTER? WHAT CAN YOU DO RIGHT NOW TO BE BETTER IN SIX MONTHS?

UPDATE:  I found my anchor for July.  I got a role in our theatre’s production of The Wiz and the rumor is that the setting is Steampunk. We start rehearsals July 8th. It’s always the right time to look good in a corset!! My “six months ago” starts right now!

Diva, Martyr, or Honored? Mother's Day is a great teaching opportunity.

This is a recycled post from last year after Mother's Day. Just a reminder that we teach our children how to treat us.  Are we a diva, a martyr, or someone to be honored?

I love being on stage. I love being noticed. I love being appreciated. So, you would think Mother's Day would be one of the best days of the year for me. But, I've learned Mother's Day isn't really about the moms. It's about the kids. I also learned a big lesson this weekend: that Mother's Day is a great teaching opportunity and I have neglected it the last 8 years.

I have shared my opinion of Mother's Day with audiences over the years. Not wanting to be the martyr mom that complains about how my Mother's Day was disappointing because I still had to cook and do the dishes, that my kids fought, and my husband bought me pajama jeans “As Seen on TV”, I took matters into my own hands. 

My favorite meal is brunch and I searched around to find a great brunch in the area and made our reservations. No cooking, no doing dishes? Check. 

When I saw a Groupon offer for 3 house cleaning sessions for $99, I snapped it up letting my husband know that my Mother's Day and birthday gifts were purchased. No pajama pants as gift? Check.

Children fighting? Well, in the past I took care of that by hosting a Mother's Day sleep over at a hotel the Friday before Mother's Day. Can't do much about them on Sunday but I got one night of no fighting (or at least one night of me not hearing them fight) Check.

This has worked very well over the years. Even this year was pleasant. But something was missing. 

We normally have brunch in Old Sacramento but this year I changed the restaurant to a closer location. My son still wanted to go to Old Sacramento for the traditional trek through the free candy samples at Candy Heaven. Not my idea of a fun time, but hey. "Sure, babe. I'd do that for you. Let's go!" 

During the half hour drive, my daughter started a tantrum that involved dramatic crying and thrashing because she couldn't play with her brother's swim goggles. After a while my husband looked at me and said, "Probably not the gift you wanted on Mother's Day." But I answered, "My greatest gift is that our son is not reacting." Normally he would be screaming with her telling her to “BE QUIET!!!!” Causing her to cry and thrash even louder. Instead he stayed quiet in the back seat. That's huge for the kid who has sensory processing issues.

I honestly enjoyed counting my blessings of true gifts throughout the day realizing that the day wasn't meant to be "all about me." If that were the case, we'd be spending our time somewhere other than candy shops and toy stores.

I wasn't the center of attention, I wasn't a martyr, and I was content with my blessings. So, what's missing? What learning opportunity had slipped by me? It wasn't until the next morning that I realized the kids and my husband had done nothing for me. No card, no homemade breakfast, no trip to the dollar store to buy a dust collector disguised as a figurine. 

And even though I jokingly posted a pic on my Facebook page poking fun at the crowd of dads in the greeting card section of the grocery store at 3pm on Saturday, there was something important happening. They were being role models showing appreciation and respect for the mother of their children.

By making sure I was not disappointed on Mother's Day and taking care of things myself, my kids were just along for the ride. They are old enough now to learn to do things for other people, to make others feel special. Shoot, everything is about them in their little world, we HAVE to teach them that the world doesn't revolve around them. Next time, I will see encouraging a little special attention as a good thing, letting them pamper me to learn something. I can handle that kind of sacrifice. So, note to self: this Father'sDay, we are going to knock ourselves out making a fuss over Dad. 

Which leads me to the question: Do they make pajama jeans for men?

UPDATE:  My birthday is not long after Mother's Day so last year after this post, the kids worked with my husband and made a poster for me made up of pictures and words that remind them of me.  We did the same for my husband for his birthday.

This year I'm hearing a lot about the "surprises" that they are planning for me for Mother's Day.  My daughter hasn't figured out that you are supposed to keep surprises a secret! It's been darling.  We are still going out to brunch and walking around Old Sacramento for the free candy samples, but I know the kids are very aware now that this is a special day to honor their mother. There will be cards, and chocolate chip cookies (shhhh, they're surprises.) Yeah!!! Teaching children to think of others? Check!

How to Pre Plan Your May Goals

Happy May!!

We are almost half way through 2013!  And here we are still working on our goals.

I'm plugging away at my goals taking on a little at a time.  Life sure gets busy and my focus has to change depending on what's going on in the world around me.  I'm happy to say that my son has been getting his work done at school.  Today we celebrated SIX DAYS in a row of no "Green Folder" coming home with unfinished work to complete.  We are playing up the positive and celebrating each milestone.  He has been able to play on the playground after school and he's playing video games after his homework is done.  For completing a whole week with no folder, he gets a special treat. He requested that his dad get a fishing license!  I see some good father/son time in his future.

Not having to play Work Warden allows me to put my energy back into other things. I have a lot of Bible reading to catch up on but that should be up to date by the end of this week. (UPDATE: I'm caught up!)

How do we set ourselves up for success in May? Here's my plan.

1. Write down goals!!!
2. Use the Rocks board to focus daily
3. Pre-mark Progress Chart

Goals for May:

God-Read Bible 365 daily readings

Health-Exercise for neck relief

        Family-Dates with husband

        Finances-Keep checkbook balanced. Use cash. Meet with hubby to discuss 3x.

Career-Keep Blogging

        Self-Fulfillment-Audition for The Wiz

Health: I've decided that I really must focus on the health of my neck because I've been in some sort of pain constantly since April 9th. So neck and core exercises are a must.  I need to get out walking too because my depression has been well.... a bummer.

God:  Keep up on Bible reading. It can pile up quickly!!!

Family: The husband and I have been communicating a lot and both of us are digging deep to work on our marriage.  We have two date nights on the calendar. One with friends and one just us.

Finances: Meet with the hubby three times to check-in on the finances. We've already set the budget for the month and I've filled the envelopes with cash. This really helps me by taking away the burden of inputting every single debit transaction in the register. Looks like we may even finish Dave Ramsey's Baby Step 3A by the end of the month which is building a fully funded emergency fund.

There I did Step One.

Step Two. Using the Rocks board that I made has been awesome!  Here’s today’s:

And something I’m trying for the first time, pre-marking my progress chart to show what I plan to do and when.  As I complete each task, I mark an X through it. Here's how the month looks so far:

WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS FOR MAY? HOW DO YOU PLAN TO KEEP MOTIVATED THIS MONTH?

I am creating a new website that will combine my speaking information and my blogging.  It will be my "All-In-One Home" So keep an eye out for the announcement of the big move!

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Love People Where They Are

Love People Where They Are

I’ve told a story for years now and the other day I came across its centerpiece. This Aerosmith concert t-shirt from their 1990 Pump tour.

I was living in another state working as a day care provider during the day and a bartender at night saving for a trip to Europe. Three of us were living in a one bedroom apartment with a donated couch and mattresses on the floor. 

Ah to be young and carefree! 

Closing a bar at two in the morning was not glamorous.  We’d call the last call, cash people out, clean out the bar swill (all the spilt alcohol that mixes together to make a stinky brown concoction), wash dishes, mop the floor, and head home.  By the time I got home and had a chance wind down, it was four in the morning. Sometimes I just fell asleep like that. Sitting on the couch, second hand smoke in my hair, nasty swill smell on my clothes.....

Knock Knock Knock!

Ugh, who is knocking on my door on a Saturday morning? What time is it? Oh, 10 a.m. I guess most people would be up by now, but I’m only on my sixth hour of sleep.

Groggy with who knows what kind of bedhead, I answer the door to greet the nicest well-dressed religious door-to-door people you have ever seen. And I’m wearing this Aerosmith gory t-shirt. I’m sure I was a sight!!  They probably thought they had some easy pickings with what looked (and smelled) to them like some hung-over metal head who didn’t know God from.... well.... Adam....

“Hello, can we speak to you for a few minutes?”

Sure.

“We’d like to talk to you about Jesus.”

Yes, I know him well.

“Well did you know that......”

Yes, I did. And yes, I do read the Bible. And yes, I do have a personal relationship with him. And yes, I have asked him into my heart as my Savior. And yes, I do pray with him daily......

I don’t think they bought a word of it.  And I can’t really blame them.  In that interaction, how could they know my heart? How could they know my past?

I bought the shirt because the back had the words to my favorite song on it, Janie’s Gotta Gun, a song about a victim of sexual abuse who takes the situation into her own hands and shoots her abuser. It was dark and scary looking. Being a survivor of childhood sexual abuse by a friend’s father, the song meant a lot to me and the dark and scary look of the shirt represented how I felt about the situation. 

The shirt and other choices I was making reflected where I was at that time of my life, but that journey wasn’t without God. He was there with me. Holding my hand.  Loving me THROUGH the pain.  I was still a Christian.

How many times do we see other people and judge them because they don’t LOOK like we think they should? Instead they wear clothes are less conservative than ours, they drink more than we do, they just don’t follow the rules like we think they should?  Do we come at them with that judgement like, “I need to let that person know they are sinning!”  Or do we come along side them, love them, and leave the judging up to God?

I’ve grown since my twenties and it’s not because someone “fixed” me.  The growth I’ve done has come from the Holy Spirit convicting me and growing me. It’s come from inside me. It’s come from knowing God more and learning what pleases him.  

So, where do people fit into this equation?  It’s the ones that loved me where I was at that helped me move along this journey.  Ones that welcomed me in the door at church regardless of what I was wearing or how late I walked in. The sweet girl in my college Bible study that described me as “colorful” because I swore like a sailor even at church gatherings.

Love people where they are. If we judge them and get snotty about the little things, how are they ever going to know Christ and let him into their hearts in order for him to shape them into the diamond he intends them to be?

WHAT ARE THINGS YOU HAVE BEEN JUDGED FOR THAT AREN’T WHO YOU ARE NOW? WHAT DO YOU NEED TO LOOK PAST IN ORDER TO LOVE OTHER PEOPLE THAT COME INTO YOUR LIFE?

Rock the System!!!

When I do my "Rocks in a Jar" talk, I teach the audience how to make this work in their daily life.  The number one thing you MUST do is look at your rocks daily.  If not, you will slip back into your old habits of letting life happen to you and not living intentionally.  I know because I do it too!

I'm very visual and I wanted to make looking at my rocks easy for myself so I set up a board that has my rocks on it.  It's in my bedroom so when I wake-up my rocks are right there waiting for me.

The board on the bottom is my "Throw Up" board. I wake-up with thoughts popping in my head like popcorn. "I've got to make the Dr. appointment, oh pay the water bill, I've got a great blog idea, ask hubby when he's coming home from his trip, need to take the receipts in to church....."  If I don't get these thoughts out and into word form they will either get lost or get stuck and I have the same thoughts over and over again.

I do not do all seven rocks every day (I teach that in my talk too. Start with one or two goals and get good at those before adding more).  So each day, I decide which rocks I will be working on and move them to the "Today" column.  I chose a white board because I wanted to be able to write the specific thing I needed to do for that rock under the rock's label:

As I complete a goal, I move the rock label to the "Done" section.  Whatever gets done gets mark off on my progress chart.

I guess it's like a chore chart for grown-ups.  As with all great tools, it's only as good as how you use it. I'll give a progress report in a couple of weeks.

How about you? DO YOU HAVE A WAY OF FOCUSING ON YOUR GOALS EACH DAY? DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT MAKING AND KEEPING GOALS?

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My Quarter Year Crisis-Getting Back on Track

One quarter of 2013 is over.  I think March was my Quarter Year Crisis month.  I didn’t balance my checkbook once. Not only did I not balance it, I didn’t input my purchases.  I haven’t behaved that way in five or six years.  Usually updating the checkbook and making sure everything balances is my way of feeling in control and that all is right, at least in my little world.

My eating was out of control (darn my favorite cupcake place opening in my town!!!) and  cleaning was sporadic.  I think I was throwing a grown-up temper tantrum.  Tired of being the responsible one. Tired of being the one who takes care of all of the finances, cleaning, calendar, communication, kids activities, social obligations, etc.

Luckily I still held on to some 2013 habits. I’m caught up on my Bible reading and here I am doing my own writing even though I contemplated posting other people’s blogs while the kids are out of school for two weeks.

So it’s a new month, and new quarter, a new start.

What are my goals for April:

• Keep up with Bible reading
• Keep up with writing
• Exercise 3x a week
• Make April’s budget and keep up with checkbook
• Date Night
• Clean out house for friend’s garage sale for Kenya Mission Trip (I am never motivated to clean unless there’s a good reason!)

What do I need to do to get back on track:

• LOOK at my goals daily
• Hang my progress chart so I can fill in the boxes daily (remember that low tech chart paper I used to track my progress for January? I took it down for a talk and never put one back up. Bad news!)
• Share my goals with my accountability partner
• Scrap the month of March in the checkbook and just start over for April.
• Use the cash envelope system (sure cuts down on inputting all those food transactions!)

ARE YOU AT A POINT WHERE YOU NEED TO GET BACK ON TRACK? WHAT DO YOU NEED TO MEET YOUR GOALS THIS MONTH? 

Feel free to post in the comment section below. It’s amazing what putting your goals down into writing can do to help you stay on track.